After reading some recent posts by The Bedroom Submissive it started me to think more about my Sir’s position in this D/s-M relationship. I asked my husband for D/s–M and he finally agreed to do it and I was so thankful that he did. But by the 5th day into it I wanted it to go on a faster pace like…The Roadrunner style and I was starting to get frustrated. I know it was because I had read so much about D/s online and erotic books that I wanted to jump head first into water not realizing how bad the ripple effect could be to my husband. I had forgotten that he was new as I was and less informed on how D/s–M worked between husband and wife. Grant you, even though my husband always had a dominate nature he had never read anything about D/s relationships and the guidelines on how to proceed into one. To my surprise he went out on his own and bought a book which helped him immensely on what his responsibilities were to our relationship. He used the information to help give him insight on how to proceed on our D/s–M relationship. But…he took that information and changed it into what he thought it should be for our D/s–M relationship. Some of what he read he didn’t believed applied or was total ridiculous.  On the 7th day in with sat down together to discuss D/s–M and the first thing he said was we are not going to jump “with both feet in the water “ Lol! We will be taking it one step at a time slowly. Now..I’m thinking to myself that this really sucks! Lol!  My husband said we will have 7 guidelines that we will always remember and follow 1. Truthful Communicate 2.  Be respectful 3. Be honest 4. Be open 5. Be realistic 6. Be patient 7. Trust. I asked him why he put realistic in as a guideline his reply…was that he knew I read a lot of books and I would want him to jump into something that he was not yet comfortable with doing this early in our D/s–M. Well he was right about me wanting to be the Roadrunner. Now the hard one Patience we sometimes forget that our Dom deals with more responsibility than we do..yes, we may have jobs, or children and it’s stressful but our Dom’s have jobs and family responsibilities and also have to worry about us in D/s–M. It’s a lot of work on their end to make sure it moving in the right direction and to make sure that our needs and wants are being met. The last thing they need is for us to be slapping them back. The next thing we discussed was rules and they need to be in place because without them our old habits will never change. Let’s be honest here if you think you can get away with something like being rude to your Dom… You will or told to do something.. You won’t do it…or when having sex and you start dictating how you want it to be. It’s called topping from the bottom for your benefit. But… if you’re Dom sets the rules down and applies the punishment you learn a lot quicker and you’ll respect him for his Dom. Believe it or not with guidelines and rules that you agreed to follow starts you in the right direction. Once my husband put the basics in place everything was a lot easier. We have discussions every 3 days or so to openly say what may be on my/his mind or I would like to change…it doesn’t mean I will get it. It means he’s listening to me but he always has the final say in the matter. Since everything was put in place we now work together as a unit he will guide and I will follow. We have learned a lot since we started and we are still learning about each other and D/s–M and it can only get better as we go. There are other things we have in place like our soft and hard limits and our play but these are things that were put into effect after the basics were applied.  And let me tell you that the reward is tenfold than when we were in our vanilla relationship. I could not be more loved,cherished and sated as I am now.


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