Stop Comparing and Focus on Your Journey

Stop comparing where you’re at with where everyone else is. It doesn’t move you farther ahead, improve your situation, or help you find peace and that connection you want with your partner. It just feeds your desire in sadness, fuels your feelings of inadequacy, and ultimately, it keeps you stuck from staying positive. The reality is that there is no one correct path in life. Everyone has their own unique journey. A path that’s right for someone else won’t necessarily be a path that’s right for you and that’s okay. Your journey isn’t right or wrong, or good or bad. Its just different. Your life isn’t meant to look like anyone else’s because you aren’t like anyone else. Your a person all of your own with a unique set of goals, obstacles, dreams and needs. Stop comparing and start thinking what you need to do to live the life you want and need. You may not ended up where you intended to be. But trust, for once, that you have ended up where you need to be at that moment. Trust that you are in the right place at the right time for a reason and have trust that with patience and faith in yourself and in your journey. So that you will learn from mistakes and learn from each other and openly communicate with honesty and trust and respect for each other. Where you want your journey to go and what each of you need to do to accomplish it. If you want something badly enough in life it comes with hard work. Learning how to be a (Dom/sub) isn’t easy for everyone but with patience and time you will find that in the end “IT WILL BE WELL WORTH THE WAIT.”

♥ Lts ♥

Some Quotes

If you look inside a women you would see how much she really cries,

you would find so many secrets. But what you would see the most is how

hard it is to stay strong when nothing is right and everything is wrong.

It doesn’t matter what happens to you. What matters is…what are you  

going to do about it? Are you going to complain and and feel sorry for yourself

 or give up on yourself. or believe you are going to step into your greatness.

Because all have to do is Breath, Have patience, Trust in yourself, and Have confidence 

and Believe in yourself and That is when your GREATNESS will shine through.

Remember you are your own best friend believe in her.

Forget yesterday

It has already forgotten you

Don’t sweat tomorrow

You haven’t even met

Instead, open your eyes

and your heart to a

Truly precious gift – TODAY.

To all submissives…..Remember to treat your every day life like you treat your submission ladies with patience, trust, confidence in yourself one day  at a time!

♥Lts ♥

There Are Going To Be Days

There are going to be days when you won’t have energy or drive to get out of bed. There are going to be days when your going to want to give-up on love, life, or school. The thing is you’re not allowed to give-up. You were given a life and your suppose to live it. the truth is the seventy or eighty that you’re given isn’t long enough to do all the things your suppose to do. Sure, you’re gonna hit a few bumps along the way, but you’re got to pick you’re self up and move on Life is unpredictable and things might not always work out the way you want them to, but that’s no reason to give-up. You’re here for a reason and someday when you’re not expecting it, you’re going to discover your reason for being here. And when that does happen, your life will never be the same.

Now the reason I post this is that we all have one shot in life and it can be taken away at any given moment. I know this because when I had the beginning of stage 3 breast cancer I believed I had only two things left in life 1. Was how to say good bye to the people I did love  2. Was how to face dying without fear..You don’t think of being positive when you are faced with what I call a living nightmare. It takes a lot will and faith to make yourself understand and believe everything will work out for the best. But even than it does not change the though inside your head that you may not. I dealt with this in my head for the first year after I found out and than prayed for the next seven years that it would not return some where else because it had passed through my limp-node system. I am only telling you this so you all will..cherish what you have and live your life to the fullest and don’t worry about what people think of you or what you do does not fit their standards. And that all the petty day to day garbage isn’t worth your time and effort to worry over. Treasure every single day that you day at a time.

Be safe, Be happy and Be loved and always love yourself first, because you are your own…. best friend..


This is for our group of ladies out here.

The strongest action for a women

is to love herself, be herself

and shine among-est those

Who never believed she could.

Life is just like a painting

Draw the lines with hope

Erase the errors with tolerance

Dip the brush with lots of patience

And color it with love.

Stress is not what happens to us.

It’s a response to what happens.

And response is something

we can choose at an moment.

Time is like a river

you cannot touch the same  water twice

because the flow that has passed

will never pass again,

Enjoy every moment in your life

The way you want

Believe in yourself first

and the flow in your journey

will be sweet and rewarding

♥ Lts ♥

Is this a dream or really inside me

I lay here dreaming as you dominate me

bound by the your leather that I wear

And I will drown by the pain that you will give to me

Silent I will not give in

To the sweet punishment you will deliver

To serve and love you is my will

I will throw myself into your dominant hands

With every breath, every fear and every tear

To serve you and love you is a compulsion within

Sweet punishment I will embrace for you

And your stripes of punishment I will gladly bare

And all my love I will still give to you

So take from me what ever you will

As I feel your fingers hot on my skin

There is no pain that will destroy my will

Even as I draw closer I will not give in

I am floating through time and space it feels

I must not be given in, give away my heart and soul

Do I throw myself in

Swallowed whole by the dream within

And my darkest desires that consume within me

As hands caress my beaten flesh

Will I drown in my own pain

As Sir whispers in my ear to let him in

I give in

and release my life in his dominant hands

And I’m free to finally just be me

Is this a dream or is it really inside of me

♥ Written by Lts ♥

What Do I Need From My Dominant?

For all Newbie’s….. This is also good material to read…but remember it was written for a D/s relationship so use it only for knowledge and for  guideline purposes too make it work for you in your D/s-M as I did.   I hope it helps you…..Lts♥

This also was Written by Master James

What Do I Need From My Dominant? The Care and Feeding of a submissive

What Do I Need From My Dominant?
The Care and Feeding of a submissive.

This page was originally started to be a guideline for submissives but in retrospect I think it may better serve the Dominants who may happen to land here.  Perhaps it may provide some insight to both sides of the equation.

I Want vs. I Need

We often confuse these two things: I want and I need.  Although they may seem to be the same at first glance, there is a huge difference in the two.  We want a lot of things in life; money, new cars, a beautiful home, success, and hot fudge sundaes, just to name a few, but how many of them do we really need?  Very often the things we want are not always things that are the best for us and are usually self-indulgent wishes that change as fast as the top ten hits on VH1.  “Needs” are a different situation.  They are the fundamentals we require to remain mentally and physically healthy and allow us to grow spiritually and emotionally.  I may really want a hot fudge sundae but survive quite well without it (I know that’s hard to believe for any of you who know me.) but I cannot thrive without my basic needs being met.

We’ve had many encounters with unhappy submissives who bemoan the fact their Dominant does not give them what they need.  As we listen to the list of complaints we sometimes find a lot of “wants” mixed in with a few valid “needs” in the charges against their Dominant.  Sorting them out isn’t always easy for either the submissive or Dominant in a relationship.  Each person is unique and comes with their own special requirements.  Without a doubt, this is one area that requires communication skills and time before either party can confidently determine what they want or need from the other.  The Submissive Owner’s Manual may help you to understand some of the complexities of the Dominant/submissive relationship.

Submissive Owner’s Manual

I need to feel safe. Before I can begin to open my submissive nature to You I need to feel safe and have reason to trust You.  To let down my walls and give You control of my will may take time and testing before I feel safe enough to permit either of us to go beyond the initial stages of our relationship.  Even after I’ve given myself to You fully, I need to be reminded I am safe with You.  I may like to feel the thrill and excitement of fear and the unknown, but I need to be sure no matter how You stimulate those emotions during an intense scene or situation, I will remain safe in Your care.

I need to know You accept me for all I am.  I will be many things to You as our relationship grows and I need to know You accept me as a person during each transition along the way.  I need to know You accept me as a friend, lover, companion, and Your submissive but also accept me as parent, child, employee, community member or other roles I fill in my obligations to family or society.

I need to have clearly defined limits.  I need to know exactly what You expect of me and know that You also understand my limits.  In some ways I am like a child that needs a fence around my play area so I know how far I can go and feel secure inside those limits.  I need You to reinforce those fences by correcting me when I try to climb them without Your approval.

I need You to be consistent.  I need to know You mean what You say and that today’s rules will apply to tomorrow’s behavior.  Nothing confuses me more than giving me mixed signals by allowing me to break rules that You’ve given me.  From time to time I may test You to see if You are capable of accepting control of my life by consistently bringing me back to the path You’ve chosen for me.  It’s not done to try Your patience but is my way of finding reassurance You are paying attention to my progress.  Very often it’s not done consciously and I promise I’ll not use it as a method for provoking Your negative responses.

I need to expand my limits.  I need to grow and to be challenged.  Left on my own, I’ll become bored or stagnate within the boundaries I accepted in the beginning.   I need to be pushed, but never shoved, to go beyond the places I’ve been.  I may drag my feet and pout at times, or sit down and refuse to move because I’m unsure and need Your guidance in overcoming my obstacles.  I depend on You for strength and encouragement to get beyond them.

I need You to teach me.  I need to learn and it is You who are my teacher.   My mind is hungry for new things and learning helps me to become all that I can be.   This may require You to continue to learn new things in order to keep me challenged.  Together we can grow to the fullness of the gifts we have and deepen the diversity we share.

I need goals.  Part of my make-up as a submissive makes me very goal-oriented.   I need them to measure my progress and need You to provide them for me.  Take time to explain those goals in ways I can comprehend Your plans concerning my growth as Your submissive.  Without Your direction I quickly become lost so I’ll look to You frequently to provide a purpose and aim as I continue in my development as a submissive.

I need to be corrected.  I need You to correct me when I make mistakes.   Without Your correction I will develop bad habits that can be very difficult to break and do great damage to our relationship and to us as individuals.  Without Your correction, I may never know I’ve made a mistake.  Allowing me to continue unchecked will only cause me to fail both of us in the end.  I admire firmness in Your correction and feel secure in knowing that You will never be afraid to take steps needed in keeping me focused on the goals You’ve set for me.

I need You to be my role-model.  I look up to You and try to follow in Your footsteps.  If You fail to live up to a standard, I will follow You into failure, often without You noticing until it is too late.  I learn quickly by the examples You provide for me and often base my reactions and behaviors on my observations of You in similar situations.  I will blindly pattern myself in Your image so be aware that my eyes will always be on You as face Your own challenges and daily activities.

I need Your approval and reassurance.  I need to know when You approve of me or what I’ve done and to know I belong to You even if I fall short of my goals.  I sometimes confuse approval with disapproval when You do not provide positive reinforcement when You are pleased by my actions.  I will constantly be seeking Your approval when I’m unsure of myself and may need to rely deeply on Your support and reassurance when I’m confused about a situation or apprehensive about a new challenge.

I need to be able to express myself.  I have a need to express both good and bad things to You but it may be difficult for me to put the negative things into words.   I fear Your rejection and hate disappointing You, so I may need a little space and time to voice all the things I need to say.  You can help me by reassuring me that my feelings are valid, even if they aren’t something You find pleasure in hearing.   There may be times when I’m upset or angry with You but without freedom to express those feelings there can be only festering resentment or misunderstanding.  Guide me in ways that I can learn to speak my heart without breaking it or Yours.

I need to learn from my mistakes.  I need to experience things that may be painful in order to learn successfully.  I know Your protective nature will struggle with allowing me to be hurt but I need to learn the consequences of what I’ve done and to experience the feelings that go along with making mistakes.  I will need Your comfort once I’ve faced my failure but will sometimes feel unworthy of asking or unable to voice my disappointment in failing.  Allow me to sort out my feelings before wiping away my tears.

I need forgiveness when I fail You.  Nothing hurts me more than to know I’ve failed or displeased You and I need to be forgiven once I’ve made amends.  It is very hard for me to forgive myself for a wrong-doing and I may need Your help in getting beyond the feelings of remorse I am carrying.  I may even need to be punished, if my wrong-doing was traumatic enough, in order to feel closure and accept forgiveness.  I depend on You to make that determination for me and need Your help in making an atonement that is acceptable to You.

I need to feel I contribute.  I have a deep-set need to give and must have outlets for this need.  My basic nature is to give of myself and You will be the primary recipient of my gifts.  Allow me to contribute to our relationship and our life together.  To do less will leave me unfulfilled and unneeded, a fate worse than death for me.  Provide me with ways to contribute things to others, also.  I may need to give of myself to those I hold dear but You will always receive the best I have to offer.

I need to enjoy successes.  Without experiencing and enjoying my successes I may give up my fight to be all You desire for me.  Allow me the pleasure of savoring the taste of victory when I overcome an obstacle or if You find pride in my attempts.   All of my successes belong to You and I need to share their rewards with You.   I don’t expect You to spoil me with grand displays for little victories, but when I’ve reached beyond the limits of my past attempts, please don’t deny me the sweet feelings of knowing I’ve achieved a goal You’ve set.

I need to share with You.  Sharing with You is a compelling need and one of the cornerstones of my submissive nature.  This includes the emotional and spiritual aspects of my being as well as the physical body I inhabit.  It may be difficult for me to give You access to the deeper levels of my emotions and feelings but those are the things I need to share the most.  I’ll depend on You to direct me in ways I can achieve total openness with You.  I also need to share in the things You are.   Trust me enough to share in Your fears, failures and struggles.  I’ll never see You as weak or incapable because You have shown confidence in me by giving part of Yourself in trust.

I need to feel loved, respected, and protected in Your ownership.  No matter how well I’ve done or how miserably I’ve failed, I need to know I’m still loved and protected by You.  Nothing will prevent me from trying new things like fear of losing Your respect and love.  By the reverse, nothing will encourage me to expand my limits and grow to be all I am capable of being more than knowing You will be there to protect me from harm and will love me even if I fall short of the target.  I need to be loved and to love You in return.  I can’t survive without it.

Dominants What am I looking for?

I found this a few years ago when I was first interested in D/s-M…It gave me helped on deciding if my husband would be able to adjust to being a Hus/Dom and to lead before I even got up the nerve to ask him. I also showed this to my husband after he excepted to try D/s to give him some insight on what he needed to have to become a good Hus/Dom ……..even though I knew he had all these Qualities. Even though this is for D/s not written for D/s-M I believe it guides us as subs to know if our husband have these qualities. If we are going to convince them to excepting our way… you need most of these qualities……like the saying goes: You cant learn to be or help someone to be something they are not and never will be.

What am I looking for?

Some Things to Look for in a Dominant
(From a submissive’s point of view) 

This was written by Master James.

What do I want? How do I know he/she is really what they say? Where do I look? Heeelllllp!! Those are the questions we hear very often from submissives who write to us from our site and from many of our visitors to our IRC channel.

I wish I had a simple answer that would solve all these questions. You want A, B and C. You know because…! You’ll find them on the corner of 4th and Vine. It’s never going to be that simple but there are some guidelines that might help you in your search and some things that might give you dominants something to think about as well.

There are many things that make a good dominant, but the most important is DESIRE. A dominant has to WANT to be good, no…GREAT, at what he/she does. Without that desire to be great they’ll never get past the dreaming stage. The greatest painters in history would never have completed their first masterpiece if they had not picked up the brush and learned how to use it. They had the inborn talent but not the skills. They had to want to paint badly enough to devote some time to harness that talent and learn how to apply it to their canvass.

Knowing What You Want

So what do I want? That’s a question each submissive must answer for themselves. I had a very wise trainer who taught me how to become selective about my own choices. Early in our association she had me list all the things I wanted in my future Master. She understood very well that submissives very often have difficulty finding direction and making choices when it comes to this D/s business. I was given a small notebook and told to write down the things I REALLY wanted/needed in a dominant.

This sounded simple enough but was much harder than I thought. I had NO idea what I wanted or needed in the beginning. I listed some basic things I found desirable in a lover. A sense of humor, kindness, compassion, wisdom, patience, and a dozen more things of similar nature. As I learned about myself, I learned more about what I truly needed and I adjusted this list to include those things. You have to do this part on your own. No one but YOU knows what your deepest needs and desires are. Make your list and keep a watchful eye.

When I was in contact with other people in the D/s lifestyle, I watched how dominants interacted with their submissives and others in the group. When I noticed something that really appealed to me I added it to my list. The same with things that I found were not good…I removed them. Eventually I had a blueprint of what I was looking for. Here are some of the ones I personally feel should be the qualities that are found in any good dominant…and what can make them GREAT.

What makes a good dominant?

(For this essay I am going to refer to the dominant in the masculine sense, and submissive in the feminine, most of the time. This his/her..Master/Mistress stuff gets to be really annoying. We all know that there are male/female subs and dominants. Let’s go from there).


Number ONE on the list! A dominant who is not trustworthy is worthless as a master. How can you totally surrender to someone who does not give you a reason to trust them? A real measure of a dominant’s trustworthiness is the way they deal with other people. They may be able to snow you for awhile, after all they’ll be trying to put their best dom foot forward to impress you. Observe how they deal with others they associate with.

Do they betray confidences that were given to them? Do they act covertly when dealing with friends or other dominants? Do they seek to bring others down by undermining their character with secret whispers about them? Do they “let you in on” little secrets about someone they’ve had a relationship with? Trusting someone with a whip while you’re helplessly bound is often easier than trusting them with the secrets of your heart and soul. Watch a dominant who shares intimate knowledge of others with you. He just might end up telling your deepest secrets to the next person who comes along.


This quality is near the top of the list. Without confidence a dominant will never have the courage to take control of himself, let alone another human being. A dominant has to feel his own worth and believe in himself. If not, he can soon begin to bolster his own flagging confidence by demeaning his submissive. Keeping her in a lower status than himself is the only way he can feel he’s in charge.

Without confidence of his own he can never instill confidence in his submissive. She will never be allowed to grow or become all she’s capable of being while in his care. She’ll never be permitted to achieve because this will only magnify his own lack of confidence in his worth. Confidence isn’t measured by a swaggering gait, the snap of a crop or the biggest bag of toys in the local group. Boasting about his conquests and talents isn’t much of an indication of confidence either, in fact this often shows a lack of it. A true measure will be seen in the way the lead their lives and conduct themselves in daily events. If this person doesn’t have some success in their work and reaching personal goals, something is wrong.

Confident in his dominance, he has no need of silly posturing. He accepts titles as tokens of respect and kneeling as outward expression of genuine feeling.

Screw The Roses, Send Me The Thorns – Miller and Devon – Mystic Rose Books
Chapter 4, page 53.


A dominant must have mastery over himself or he will never be master of another. I’ve seen many, so called “Masters/Mistresses”, who seemed to be the most wonderful beings on earth until something went wrong or slipped from their control. They suddenly became like a 10 year old child who had just lost his kite in a tree. The angry, temper-tantrum throwing, whining, and pouting dominant is not a pretty sight. A submissive soon learns to fear this kind of dominant and will eventually see them as dangerous, as well as weak and pathetic children.

Control of self means just that. If you can’t control YOU, then don’t bother trying to control ME. Watch this one carefully subbies…they often equate control with broken dishes, hearts and bones. If you don’t want to end up on the receiving end of their lack of self-control, you’ll walk a wide path around this one.


Another at the top of my list. Being smart is not the same as being wise. Some really smart people are pretty darned dumb when it comes to applying their knowledge to a situation. A dominant must be wise when using the knowledge he’s acquired. I often think of Solomon in the Bible when I consider wisdom. He had the ability to take what he knew and apply it to a given situation to solve the problem. A good dominant is a problem solver. He must solve the problems in the relationship, in his own associations and help you with yours. Don’t wind up being “the blind lead by the stupid.”


If there isn’t honesty, there can’t be trust. Without trust there is no D/s relationship. It’s as simple as that. Does this person lie, even about simple things? Do they avoid the truth and hide behind carefully placed words to keep from being totally honest? Are their true motives often camouflaged with little fibs? If this is a pattern, you’ve got problems coming your way. It’s my opinion that people who lie about little things are more dangerous than ones that lie about something major. Almost anyone could be tempted to fabricate a story to save their neck, but what’s to be gained by someone who would make up a story about being 10 minutes late in meeting you for lunch? If they would lie to me about why their socks don’t match what makes me believe they’re going to tell me the truth about respecting my safe word?

Another consideration is this fact: Without honesty there is little chance for this person to master their own life, let alone yours. Honesty means being honest with themselves as well as with you. A dominant who cannot be honest about themselves can never grow or change. They’ll forever look into that mirror of self-inspection and see only what they want to see and not what’s really there.


A great dominant must be a skillful communicator. Don’t confuse communication with talking. A dominant that talks all the time, just to hear his own words is not communicating. He has to LISTEN to what’s being said and to sort out the real meaning behind the words of his submissive.

He also has to be able to express his wants and needs to his submissive in a way that she fully understands, not only the deed, but his motivation behind it. Failing to communicate adequately is one of the major reasons D/s relationships fail so miserably. A submissive who does not understand what is expected from her can never succeed in pleasing her dominant. She has to have confidence in the knowledge that he will listen to her and help her express those innermost feelings and longings.

Communication is a two way street. Both partners in a relationship must be able to express clearly what they expect and need from their partnership. They must also keep the receiving end open. You can talk you head off in the most eloquent words but if no one is listening they meant nothing. Observe how the dominant communicates with others. If you are watching a dominant and they seem to brush off other submissive’s attempts to converse, like a bothersome fly…forget it. Once the infatuation with you is over, you’ll be on the receiving end of the fly-swatter.

Looking for Mr. Good-dom

-someone with whom you communicate well. You may be a regular motor-mouth with your friends, but seal up tighter than a clam when you are with a lover. SM requires a solid, steady stream of communication to keep your relationship safe and satisfying. The guy you find may be hotter than a rocket, but if you cannot find a way to tune into the same wavelength, find yourself another , more well guided missile.

Screw The Roses, Send Me The Thorns – Miller and Devon – Mystic Rose Books
Chapter 3, page 40.


Without a loving heart, a dominant is nothing more than a set of rules and a taskmaster. Submissives are, by nature, very loving and giving individuals. They not only give love…they require it to survive. We often seek to please because of our deep need for acceptance and love. A dominant who cannot meet those needs will never have a happy submissive.

A dominant must be able to love himself as well. If he is not capable of seeing himself as lovable, then he’ll never accept the love that a submissive will so freely offer. Love is never self-seeking, nor critical, nor does it find joy in failure. Love covers a multitude of sins and forgives without holding a grudge. When I see a dominant lavish attention on a child, an animal, a needy person, as well as a friend, I see a Master-in-the-making. His instincts to comfort, protect and nurture are developed and speak to my heart. This is the kind of man or woman I want to give my heart to for a lifetime.


A great master is a great teacher. That’s part of the job, subbies. He’s going to be teaching you for the duration of your relationship with him. Watch how he teaches. Does he have patience? Does he reward when a lesson is learned? Does he desire you to become all you can be? Is he willing to share his knowledge with you? One of the primary goals a dominant should have is creating an environment where his submissive can grow and develop emotionally and intellectually. He will be responsible for your welfare and should be nurturing that eager mind of yours as well as broadening your sexual repertoire.

Does he practice what he preaches? That alone can be one of the biggest clues to what he really is. A true master/mistress will teach by setting the example. If he wants respect he shows it to others. If he wants loyalty, he is loyal. If he wants honesty, he is honest. If he says one thing and does another, he is not single-minded and will always demand things of you that he is not capable of giving himself.

Don’t hesitate to look for someone who is your intellectual equal or superior. This might not be important to you if you are not an academic achiever but if you are, you will probably not be satisfied intellectually with someone who is not able to meet or challenge your need to learn. He doesn’t have to be a brain surgeon or rocket scientist but, if he cannot meet this intellectual need, you are going to stagnate in a pool of frustration and resentment.

The desire to help, to enhance, or to make happy is common among dominants. This may be why so many of them are in the teaching and helping professions: medicine, social work, religion. Other-centered people make good dominants. Self-centered people often find that the strain of the responsibilities inherent in a D&S relationship is overwhelming.

The Loving Dominant – John Warren, Ph.D.- Masquerade Books, Inc.
Chapter 2, page 25.


Without compassion a dominant is not a master, he is a bully. He must have the ability to feel and care for others, who may be weaker or less knowledgeable then he is. He will not chastise you for a failure. He will help you to overcome the obstacle. He will want the best for you and all others he comes in contact with.

If he has no spirit of forgiveness or sympathy, you will always fear making a mistake. That fear will cause more mistakes than it prevents. Watch out for a dominant that cannot forgive and move on, granting the transgressor the compassion needed to get beyond the circumstances that caused the offense. It just might be you that stumbles and needs his compassion the next time.


Being able to laugh is one of the things I see as one of the most important in a dominant and a relationship. A dominant that can’t laugh at himself is too insecure for my tastes. A dominant who’s hackles go up every time a playful remark is made has some serious esteem problems or is harboring some deep resentment. If they seem to over-react when someone jokingly steps on their toes it’s a sure sign of a fragile ego or a festering boil of contention. Being able to laugh, especially at oneself, is a very strong character trait. Watch a dominant that laughs freely with you or in a group and you’ll often find a dominant who is confident, loving and compassionate.

So many times you’ll face situations that are so heart-rending that finding the humor in them is the only way to make it to the other side. Having a sense of humor is not the same as laughing AT someone…it’s laughing WITH them. Noticing what makes them laugh is a key to who they are and what they value. A dominant that seeks his chuckles in ethnic, degrading, humiliating, perverted or cruel humor is often not the kind of master you’d like to have.

He is secure enough to laugh at himself and the absurdities of life, courageous enough to accept assistance, open-minded enough to learn new things, and strong enough to grow. His tools are mind, body, spirit, and soul, with assistance from whip, chain, and blindfold. He understands that each partner gains from pleasuring the other. Most of all, he knows love as the only chain that truly binds.

Screw The Roses, Send Me The Thorns – Miller and Devon – Mystic Rose Books
Chapter 4, page 53.

Summing it up

This list could go on and on. The important thing I’ve tried to say is there are more things to being a Master/Mistress than being a dominant. There are dominants who can wield a whip with great finesse, use a flogger and never miss the target, can tie knots better than a sailor, knows every definition on the Deviant’s Dictionary and is the chairman of the Local PEP group but they will never be MASTERS/MISTRESSES.

A dominant can learn the skills needed to use the tool or toys of the trade but the heart and soul of a true Master/Mistress develops from all the best human characteristics. Can they learn them? Perhaps, but most are inborn…a part of the person’s basic make-up. They can strive to develop them if they have the ability to see that they are lacking in some things. Sadly, most of the ones who are the worst, are often blind to their own faults. Those that are open-minded can learn to improve what traits they have and a strong submissive can do a lot to help them toward this goal. Just keep in this in mind: “You can teach an old dog new tricks, but he’ll never be a cat. He’ll still be a dog.”

I didn’t want to try to “build” a Master from the ground up so I measured those I met against my list. Very few even came close and I sometimes wondered if I was expecting too much. But when I weighed the consequences of settling for less than I knew I needed, I decided the waiting was the better choice. I’ll never be sorry I did. I had too much to loose and so much more to gain.


Remember, Happiness

Starts with you

Not with your relationship,

or your Friends, or

Your job. But


The most valuable asset

is not a head full of Knowledge.

But a heart full of love,

With an ear ready to Listen

and a hand willing to help.

Don’t let jealousy fool you

It’s just another name for Insecurity.

♥ Lts ♥

Three Simple Rules

Even though we live in a complex world, there are three simple rules in life

1. If you do not go after what you want, you will never have it.

2.If you don not ask, the answer will always be no.

3. If you do not step forward, you will always be in the same place.

I guess what I’m saying is: Never give up, never look down, and never look back

and always more forward in life. Don’t let anyone make you feel as if you don’t belong or unworthy of…..EVER

Those that do are just not strong enough to handle greatness. Be proud of who you are because you are never alone.

♥ Lts ♥


In life you have to take the good with the bad, smile when your sad, Love what you got and remember what you had. Always forgive, but never forget, learn from your mistakes, but never regret, people change, things go wrong…just remember your life will go on and live it happy with love, trust and honesty in your heart and your life will be blessed the way that you want.

♥ Lts ♥

Why do we


“Why do we close our eyes when we

Pray, Kiss or dream?”

Because the most beautiful things in life

are not seen.

But felt from the heart.


These are the Personal Qualities I believe a Submissive should always have or try to have.

The order does not matter -The Qualities do

1. A submissive should always be Patient

2. A submissive should always love her self

3. A submissive should always have confidence in her self

4.  A submissive should always follow the rules

5. A submissive should always have respect

6. A submissive should always be obedient

7. A submissive should always communicate

8. A submissive should always be truthful

9. A submissive should always be caring

19. A submissive should always be honest

11. A submissive should always be helpful

12. A submissive should always be loving

13. A submissive should always take her punishment with pride

14. A submissive should always praise her Dominant

15. A submissive should always be her Dominants co-pilot

The submissive will be priceless